Here we go again...

Wow it takes forever for me to update this blog these days. 

I’ve always had so many things to write about but most of the times they ended up written in my mind only. It’s not like work has been hovering me but my office is on top of ‘kayangan’ that I’ve become too lazy to stay in the office.

 Anyhoooo, work is doing fine, I already finished marking final exam paper and key-ed in the marks. It was hard for me to fail students but I couldn’t just pass them especially with both eyes open when it’s clear they didn’t do well in classes. The next level would be much harder for them and I honestly think they aren’t ready for it. I was worried they couldn’t survive. It took me a few days to finally decide this, it was really hard for me. 

*sigh* 

*pic: http://www.smashingmagazine.com*

 *yep, exactly how I feel every single day. LOL!*

Work aside, so many things happened in the last few months. 
I went to Jakarta (again!) and bought too many kain ela for myself. 
I discovered Malaysian GMarket and bought more facial masks just because they’re freaking cheap than retail. 
I attended few friends’ weddings and it is fun attending weddings because it always ends up like a mini gathering. 
I watched too many Korean dramas. 
I downloaded almost every BigBang’s songs, couldn’t get over them. And oh, TOP is still hot while maknae Seungri is getting hotter nowadays. 
I sincerely have so many things I want to share –holidays, beauty stuff, drama reviews etc. 

Hopefully now that I’ve no classes I will be able to write frequently. 

(^.^) 

"School of Life"

Ok let me be honest here.

When I finished my B.Ed TESL I wasn't sure if I really wanted to teach. 

I didn't even bother to submit the application form to teach in government high school.

My first thought after knowing I passed my B.Ed TESL was to just stay at home for a while,

resting & relaxing.

But I guess God is so great, HE makes everything easy for me.

I heard that INTEC needed English Lecturers so along with other 10 friends whom I did my undergraduate studies with, we submitted our resumes and were called for an interview.

I basically started working in less than 3 months after my result went out.

So goodbye late nights and hello early mornings.

During my first teaching stint, I was still quite clueless. Even though I used to teach at tuition centres, it's not the same.

INTEC was what I considered my first real job.

And it's gonna be my only job.

You see, teaching is not easy. Whoever says teaching is easy, puh-lease, try taking over my classes for one day only.

Let's see if you survive.

It's hard work. You're not just teaching, you're also dealing with more than a 100 different kids with raging hormones and different personalities.

I have to study before going into class. I have to make sure my lesson plan adapts with every student despite of their level of proficiency.

And don't let me start with marking exam papers, especially essays.

(*_*)

Nonetheless, I have come to loving this job. 

I may not be the best teacher and my class may not be the most interesting class but I have one definite goal -that my students learn a life lesson.

This is all a part of their experience. I was once a student myself so I can relate to their feelings.

Those facial expressions? Those body language? Those sleepy bloodshot red eyes? 

Been there, done that.

If they failed, so be it. They should realize at the end of the day it's all about the effort they put in.

Students these days are too spoilt. Well, some of them.

 But teachers must remind them life is not all rainbows and unicorns and cotton candy.

Nothing is easy in life. Life is always fair but humans choose to be unfair to themselves.

Anyway, there are still times I question myself whether this job is really for me.

What do I do?

I watch great movies. Yup. How fascinating eh?

My all time favourite is 'Dead Poets Society'. That 'Carpe Diem' phrase has stuck in my mind for the longest time. It's just superb. And I still cry buckets everytime they do 'Oh Captain, My Captain'.

Superb.

'School of Life' isn't bad as well. I've always thought Ryan Reynolds can only act goofy but he did terrific job as teacher in this movie.

Try to watch them over the weekend when you're tired over reading students' essays.

Works for me, everytime.

To quote Angelina Schwindt,

"What we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

spell "spell" please...

*pic googled*

God I hate it when I have spelling trouble in class.
I'd feel like such a dimwit.
Sometimes writing on the board makes words look as if they're misspelled. Seriously.
Guess I can't handle confusion well.
(*_*)

i chose the road less travelled...

Or is it not?

I’m hired, finally. I'm now working at a public university in Melaka and it has been 2 weeks since I first started teaching. Am I happy here? Well, Alhamdulillah for the rezeki He gave me but as usual, there are always things that make me go erghh..

You see, the coordinator called me on a Thursday, asking me to come over for an interview the next day. I went to her office on Friday and she straightaway gave me my teaching timetable and explained a few things about the subject. In other words, she didn’t even give me time to think over the job offer. In short, they're desperate and in need of lecturers. So I guessed I didn’t have a way out and went to work the next Monday. I was even too shocked to say anything!

Well the first few days, of course weren’t all happy and flowery. Even though I used to study here for a year for my pre-degree, so many things have changed especially the new buildings and community. And the coordinator being not friendly isn’t helping at all. I was hoping someone would give me a map of the campus! Luckily I've a friend working here and she helped me a lot. We used to be classmates when we did our bachelor degree and seeing a familiar face really reduce my anxiety.

So far classes went well and my first year students are doing fine too. They're still fresh out of schools and some still call me ‘teacher’. I really don’t mind being called a teacher, I am a teacher anyway. The only downside so far is the salary. Well, can't say much when you're working with the government. *sigh*

Anyway, I believe I'm happier working here as I'm close to my family. I feel blessed to be able to ask for my parents blessings every morning before leaving for work. Nothing beats having your family around even though I sometimes crave for IKEA meatballs or William’s cheese naan but coming home and knowing there are people waiting for you to come home is definitely more fulfilling than William’s Vanilla Pavlova Trifle. Eh, really?

Dayyyyyyum!

two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

*The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost*

It's funny how I'm always reminded of this poem every time I'm torn between two choices.
Other than performing solat istikharah for Allah's guidance, this poem helps me to think over which 'road' I should take.
At the moment I'm very torn over where to work at, either in Melaka or around Selangor.
As accommodation isn't a problem, it's more of where my heart is.

If I decided to work in Melaka, it'll be good because I'm close with my family which is the biggest plus point. I get homesick a lot when I'm away so staying close with my family is probably, hands down, the only reason I need to make me work in Melaka.
Other than that, I believe I could save more because there's no toll and everywhere is considered near here.
Even though I know I'd be missing my close friends who live in Selangor, I could just visit them once a month over the weekends. Selangor is just about 1 1/2 hours from Melaka anyway.
Another downside? Maybe I'll be having less social life as my close friends are all far away and there's not much great shopping malls here. Hehehe...

If I decided to work in Selangor, the pros and cons would just be the opposite of the above reasons.
Oh dear...

You know, sometimes I wish I could just be a housewife or work from home or just teach tuition classes a few hours a week.
I really don't mind doing laundry and cooking, I'm accustomed to that by now.
My mom is a housewife since she got married to my dad. Although she said it can be very boring to stay at home, as a child it feels really different. Nothing beats my mom's cooking and knowing that she takes care of everything very well makes me more appreciative and we grow closer. Mom used to pick me up from school and I would tell her everything about school as soon as I hopped into the car. I even told her about my high school crushes and we would just laugh along.
I'm not sure if I'm working I would have time to really listen to my children as I'm marking students' papers. I guess I've to sharpen my multitasking skills from now.

On a second thought, I guess I should get a boyfriend first.
*sigh*

*Nervousness*

In case you haven't noticed, multiple posts on hot guys mean I'm panicking over the gazillion assignments that I have to submit. Not forgetting my dissertation.
And also my students' reports to be graded.
One class down, three more classes to go.

I'm so gonna miss my students of this batch. They're just super adorable, such sweethearts. I secretly call them 'little tiny tots'. Well, once or twice I would shout in class, 'You tiny tots!' whenever they started to get naughty.
They just finished high school so most of them still act like schoolboys/girls.
Shouting here and there, calling funny names to classmates, laughing like nobody cares, flashing me those doll eyes everytime they need more time for assignments.
I know I've said this many times, if only I had much younger sisters or brothers, I would matchmake them. So adorable!
I've never mentioned this before, the fact that I've always wanted a baby brother.
I have two beautiful baby sisters and I long for a young brother that I can 'sekeh2' and wrestle with.
A young brother that would come and tell me, "Sis, I like this girl but..."
Well, I probably watch too many dramas.
He might have bullied me, who knows.
hahaha
I guess that's why I have a soft spot for Aish.
*i miss that chubby tot!*

It's always a wonder how I can make time blogging and not doing my other work.
Truth be told, I need a break some times.
This semester,by far, is the toughest and heaviest.
Assignments due every week, no, make that every day!
I wouldn't start on my Statistics quiz last week!
*pulling hair*
And it soooo doesn't make sense that we learn Stats this semester at the same time we have to submit our dissertation.
Where is the relevance in that??!
Ridiculous!
And all these tough subjects at the very final semester, together with dissertation!
Whatever it is, I pray hard to be able to graduate by this year.
InsyaAllah.

Hurm, what's for berbuka puasa today?
Nasi Ayam Penyet Wong Solo!
Nyum nyum!

-qils-

Of Delayed London Post, Classes, Presentations, Students' Reports and Dissertation..

I wish I'm a superwoman.

The one that is so super she doesn't need to eat, drink, sleep and rest.

I have dissertation I need to finish by September,
classes of Academic Discourse, Statistics and ESP I need to attend to three days a week,
students' presentations and reports that I have to grade,
and my forever unfinished delayed London post to write about.
Not forgetting my room is a complete mess with my new-and-fabulous-not-yet-updated-collection for The e-Beautique.

The only thing I managed to do well last week was checking all my shoes for possible mold or insects or torns.
Thankfully, everything is still wearable and nicely kept in boxes.

*still have rooms for more shoes!*

Yes, I wish I have more time.
Time to do just about everything.

-qils-

I'm on Holidays...Not!

I had been busy for the past few weeks.
Things happened.

Survived my M.Ed third semester. Finally.
I really hope I go through all subjects.
Tolong lah, saya tidak mahu repeat subjek.
Seriously, sociolinguistics is one scary subject.

So basically I'm on my semester break, yeay!
No classes for two months. No assignments for two months.
Sangat suka.
I so in need of holidays.
=)

I have started working at the old place for two weeks now.
Back to square one.
It all happened too fast.
Went for an interview and got the job on the same day.
*either i'm really good or they desperately need lecturers hahaha*
Then they wanted me to start teaching the following week.
And I just thought to spend my holidays at home, doing nothing.
I genuinely thought they're gonna ask me to start by July.
But I accepted it, thinking, sayang pulak nak tolak.
So far everything's good. The subject is quite easy to teach, unlike Ausmat.
My students are all 17. So cute and innocent.
I even have one student that looks like Justin Bieber!
*if only K.Mirs taught here!*
So adorable!
As the focus of the subject is communication skills, apa lagi, we all bersembang je la dalam class.
=D

The e-Beautique is still in business even though I'm working now.
Will still be joining bazaars whenever I'm free.
This is definitely what I love doing most.

And darn, I just realized that most of my shoes are not suitable for work!
Fancy sangat!
Takkan kena beli kasut baru?
=P

-qils-

Interview. Class.

The interview went quite well, I would say.
*smile*
Upon entering the office, I felt serenity. Like seriously.
I was nervous, but I was really happy just to be there.
It's definitely a dream place to work at.
Oh I really hope to get a position there. I even told the interviewer just offer my any position, I'll take it! haha!
And my interviewer is a very nice, soft-spoken and lovely lady.
I was so nervous at first, but she really calmed me down.
Talking about serenity. hehe..
I already felt like having a conversation with my boss! =)
But I don't want to put too high hopes, nanti kecewa pula bila tak dapat.
But it was the best job interview of my life so far!
Because for once I really looked forward for the interview and not just to get a mere job so I can pay my utilities.
I can definitely work there in my 4-inch heels!

*still keeping mum about the job. don't want to jinx it*

The in the evening at 6pm, my 3rd sem M.Ed TESL class started.
Ugh..
Me and K.Mirs were lepak-ing at PakLi sec7 before class and we had to drag our feet to our cars.
I can so totally feel those kids upon starting school again.
Can't wait to complete my M.Ed TESL.

-qils-

I've Got An Interview Tomorrow!

I think I have never mentioned before that I'm job hunting at the moment.
I quit my position as English lecturer at a private college about a month ago.
I want to pursue my true passion.
I have been teaching for 2years now and all this while I thought I am destined to be a lecturer, as I'm a TESL grad but I realised that I may not enjoy teaching after all.
Well don't get me wrong. I love assisting people, and teaching is all about that. But teaching requires enormous amount of both patience and passion.
I can be so very patient.
It's passion that I'm lack off.
My true passion? Is to write.
Seriously. I even think of getting a degree in journalism after my TESL Masters study.
But I believe in taking baby steps. I believe nothing is more vital than learning by experience.

Anyway, yes, I have an interview tomorrow after lunch hour!
I won't be telling who, what, where or how because I'm worried I might jinx it!
Not really superstitious but hey, I'd rather not take that chance!
I really hope everything will go well.
I'm really excited, but not too over-confident.
I can't wait to meet fabulous people who has been inspiring me all this while!
I'm thinking of what shirt to wear, which pants, which heels, handbags! God I don't think I'm able to sleep tonight! Whatever it is, I need my beauty sleep the most this time.
OMG I'm nervous!
Ya Allah, please bless me. Berikan ku ketenangan dan kemudahan. And thank you for giving me this opportunity.

-qils-